book
Here is my 100 page humor book.
Please follow this link and order your copy
from the Publisher...Dan Miller

or Call to Order: 941.922.5954
During Business Hours:
Monday-Thursday - 8:30am-5:00pm
Monday-Friday - 8:30am-4:30pm

Blonde Jokes
What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes at a four way stop.

Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for 4 hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.

What do smart Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, daddy ... doughnut seeds.

Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the eleven on the phone!

What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?"
The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"

A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh, look at the dead bird."
The Blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?"

How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.


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Take a look at the two birds on the right. Study them closely and watch their habits..... See if you can spot which of the two is the female. It can be done. Even by one with no skills whatsoever in bird watching.


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DISCLAIMER 1:
Although I think I know some of the people which are talked about in any of these stories, any similarities to any real or living person is purely coincidental on my part. - Dan Miller
DISCLAIMER 2:
All the jokes and stories found here have been collected from E-mails and Web-Sites on the internet.
DISCLAIMER 3:
Where known, the author has been given credit. It is not our intention to claim credit for any story or joke here.